Fix Fics Olivia's in a Fic Must Fix the Fic Quick
by tinacreeper
Summary: Language & Sexual references Wont give too much away... Basically, Olivia is IN a fic and must fix it!
1. Draft

**NOTE: AUTHOR'S THOUGHTS ARE IN BOLD**

DRAFT 1

_Olivia Benson woke up, and groggily eyed the clock next to her bed. 6.03am._

"_Crap," she thought to herself, "Why can't I ever sleep in on my day off?"_

_She started to close her eyes again, to try for a few more hours, when she suddenly became aware of a warm, naked body pressed against her back._

Her eyes flew open in shock. "What the….". Olivia froze. What the hell had happened last night? Slowly, she turned her head to look at her bed partner…right into the open blue eyes of… ALEX CABOT!

Olivia's eyes widened further "Alex, what the hell are you doing in bed with me? Naked! And out of Witness Protection?" Olivia screeched as she quickly pulled the sheet up over her own naked body and scrambled to the edge of the bed.

"Calm down Liv" replied Alex "it's only a fanfic"

Olivia looked at Alex in confusion. "A WHAT?"

Alex sat up in the bed too and looked at Olivia patiently, "A fanfic"

"What the fick is a funfac…er .. a finfuc…er a fanfic," Olivia choked out, a little hysterically.

"A fanfic." She said slowly "you know, a story that fans of the show write about what they want to see?"

Olivia shook her head in confusion, "And they want to see us together. Like this," Olivia waved her hand about, indicating the bed.

"Sure," Alex replied, "This is only one of hundreds of stories like this"

Olivia rubbed a hand through her hair, "But WHY?" she asked in confusion.

"Well" said Alex, a wrinkle furrowing her brow, "Let's see. We're single…oh and we're both attractive."

Olivia looked at her, hard, "AND?" she asked

"Oh!" exclaimed Alex excitedly, "We sat next to each other on a bench once, and I called you Liv." She crossed her arms in front of her, a little triumphantly (As if that explained it all),

"But-" Olivia started. The sound of the bathroom door opening stopped her.

Olivia and Alex turned towards the sound. There stood Casey Novak, dressed in a green and yellow striped jacket, purple shirt and orange mini-skirt and pink knee-high boots. And that annoying loose curl that sat haphazardly upon her freakishly large head.

"Casey!" yelped Olivia. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, Olivia," Casey soothed. "Don't panic. You and I are lovers too."

Olivia looked at her in shock, "You and.. and…me?" she squeaked.

"Yeah, sure. After Alex went into Witness Protection, you and I got it on," Casey explained.

"Well, if that's true," smirked Olivia, "What are you doing in this scene? With me AND Alex?"

"Oh, that's a good point," Casey said looking bemused, "I'm not sure"

"Could be a writer error," Alex offered.

The three women sat in contemplative silence for a moment.

"Oh, oh, oh!" yelled Casey. "I know! I'm here as a kind of fall guy or some sort of plot contrivance."

Olivia and Alex exchanged a look, and Liv rolled her eyes. "What are you talking about, Casey?"

"Well, the writer either wants to set up a gag or a situation, and she, or he, needs me to do it," Casey explained smugly.

Olivia gave her a dirty look, and then turned to Alex again, "Oh my God, can you imagine people wanting her and me together. Ugh," Liv shuddered. "I mean, Alex, you and me I can understand, but HER!" Liv shuddered again.

Alex looked at Liv in surprise, "Really, Liv? You mean it?"

Olivia smiled, "Well, sure Alex. You're beautiful, smart, witty and you are so classy."

Alex's eyes welled, "Oh my God, Liv." Her hand fluttered over her heart, "I'm so touched. Thank you."

The two women embraced…. "Well, sure Alex. You're my friend, and I've missed you." They drew away from each other. "And if I was gonna be gay, you'd be my first choice."

"Awwwwww thanks Sweetie. I've missed you too." They hugged again.

"Ah HA!" Shouted Casey, "There, right there, that's the scene I helped set up!"

Alex glared at her, pulled away from Liv and asked, "How on earth do you put up with her?"

"Tell me about it," said Liv gritting her teeth, "And Oh my God, have you _seen_ the way she dresses?"

Alex laughed, "I know. I was watching the other night, and she had this awful pin-striped jacket on, with these huge lapels."

Olivia chuckled, "Yeah, I know that one. What about the dark one with the white stitching all over it?"

"And that horrible green one!"

The two women roared with laughter, wiping tears from their eyes.

"Excuse me!" Said a rather miffed Casey, "I am still here you know!"

The two women looked at her and started laughing again.

Finally, they calmed down.

"Ok," said Liv, her voice still trembling, "well, how do we fix this, 'cos no offence Alex, but I'd rather a guy."

"Oh none taken!" Alex waved her hand. "But, if you want to change things, I suppose you could ask for a rewrite."

Olivia looked around the room. "Excuse me, um…writer! Do you think you could change the storyline, please?"

**You want a rewrite? Sigh. Ok, I'll give it another shot.**


	2. Rewrite 1

**REWRITE 1**

_Olivia Benson woke up, and groggily eyed the clock next to her bed. 6.03am._

"_Crap" she thought to herself, "Why can't I ever sleep in on my day off?"_

_She started to close her eyes again, to try for a few more hours, when she suddenly became aware of a warm, naked body pressed against her back._

Subtly, she pressed her back against the body. Mmmmmmmm, no breasts, and a hairy chest. Well that was a good sign.

She turned to see the face of her new bed partner.

"Oh my God' Liv breathed "_ELLIOT_"

Her partner smiled at her. "Hi, Liv"

"You mean people want to see us together too?" Olivia asked in shock.

"Sure" Elliott replied "There's probably more El and Liv fanfics than anything else"

"But, El" asked Liv "What about Kathy, I mean I know you're separated, but you're still married"

"Meh, don't worry, Liv. Besides, Kathy's a psycho bitch"

"_What_! Since when" she asked

"Oh, probably since the beginning of the chapter. It's all part of a plot contrivance"

"How do you mean"

"Well, obviously, there are people who wouldn't be too happy if I just forgot all about my wife of twenty years to take up with you, so if they made Kathy into some sort of witch with mental problems, then it would be easier to accept"

Olivia pondered on that, "Oh ok. But El, what about the fans of the show. Wouldn't they find it hard to accept us as a couple?. I mean we're partners. Won't they find it hard to accept the change. Won't it wreck the show"

"Well, the shippers.."

"Wait, El…a shipper?" Liv asked.

"Yeah, a shipper, as in people who wanna see us in a relationship. Well, they can't wait till we get it on"

"Oh, OK then, but El, I gotta say, I've never really thought of you in that way" Olivia said gently, all the while hoping Elliott wouldn't notice her subtle efforts to get a peek at him under the sheet. "I mean, I've always thought of you as married, and even though you and Kathy are separated and your soon-to-be-ex-wife is a psycho bitch, I just don't know if I can switch to lovers just like that."

"So what are you saying Liv, you want another rewrite"

"Well, if you don't mind. Nothing against you El, but if we could possibly change it again, I'd appreciate it"

Elliott shrugged "That's fine Olivia, I tell you it's no fun having a soon-to-be-ex-wife psycho bitch anyway, so if you wanna change, I'll understand"

Olivia looked around the room again "Hello, writer, you there. Could we change again please."

**Oh Man, _again._ Ok, but you better not keep this up……**.


	3. Rewrite 2

REWRITE 2

_Olivia Benson woke up, and groggily eyed the clock next to her bed. 6.03am._

"_Crap" she thought to her, "Why can I never sleep in on my day off"_

_She started to close her eyes again, to try for a few more hours, when she suddenly became aware of a warm, naked body pressed against her back._

Olivia groaned and wondered who the hell it was this time. Ensuring her sheet was properly secured; she turned slowly to check out her latest fanfic partner.

"EW! I mean MUNCH!" She screamed.

"Good Morning to you too Aunt May" he smiled "Fancy seeing you here."

Olivia closed her eyes, as if in pain. "Oh my God, who are these people" she thought to herself.

She opened her eyes and studied John, who oddly enough, was naked apart from his trademark black hat and dark glasses.

"So" she asked "How did THIS happen"

"Olivia, my dear, do you _need_ a reason to fall in love with me?"

"Yes." She spat.

He sighed, "Fine," pausing a moment to think, John furrowed his brow. "Ok, how's this sound: The FBI - " Interrupting, Olivia threw herself back on her pillows and covered her eyes with her hands. At least it's not Cragen, she told herself.

"Don't tell me – government conspiracy?" she groaned.

"Naturally. The FBI uncovered a secret that had been hidden for years! Six years ago, before you joined SVU, you were in a terrible car accident. You lost you long-term memory. Big Brother took advantage of you, Olivia, and took it hard. They gave you a whole new life – someone that's a cop for sex-crimes and alone. But that's not who you were, Liv, no, it wasn't. In your _real_ life you were an extremely successful fruit-vendor in the Bahamas. Don't throw that away, Liv," he leaned in close to whisper, "don't you dare throw it away."

Olivia stayed where she was, hands still over her eyes. "What does that have to do with you?"

He paused a moment.

"Liv, I'm just a character in a fic. I don't ask questions. This has obviously been a very poorly written chapter and is in desperate need of re-write.

Olivia peeked at John through parted fingers. "Ya think? I'm not bothered this time, you do it."

"Well, Olivia, I'm not sure I really want a re-write. I'm rather happy here at the moment, with you"

"So, are we like getting married John" Olivia asked

"MARRIED" screeched John "Oh, I don't think I want to walk down the aisle for a fifth time Olivia"

"But, John" said Olivia in a soothing tone, "that could be where this is headed"

John considered Olivia's words, and knew what he had to do. He looked round the room. "Excuse me, um.. writer, you there. Do you think we could have another rewrite please?"

**Oooooooooooo Benson, you are sooooo lucky, don't think I didn't realize what you were up to. God you're picky.**

Just before the author's notes were erased, Olivia turned to John and smiled, "So, what sort of fruit?"


	4. Rewrite 3

REWRITE 3

_Olivia Benson woke up, and groggily eyed the clock next to her bed. 6.03am._

"_Crap" she thought to herself, "Why can't I ever sleep in on my day off"_

_She started to close her eyes again, to try for a few more hours, when she suddenly became aware of a warm, naked body pressed against her back._

Olivia froze, "Oh my God, not another one" She secured her sheet and slowly turned to see her latest 'attachment'

Before her eyes could even register the figure beside her, it sat up.

She looked up; first to reach her eyes was a giant, gold dollar pendant around her 'friend's' neck.

The neck; dark, the face; dark……. FIN!

"Sup?"

"Oohhhhh no," Liv sat up, massaging her eyes. "Don't tell me… They want _us_ together too?"

"Nah baby, the writer's just playin witchyou."

"Well I'm NOT amused."

Fin chuckled, well, snorted. "I was thinkin it'd be sweet, most o' tha 'tang we got in tha hood aint smooth like me butters here."

"Honey, I'm not even gonna pretend I understood that," Olivia stood up, shielding her nekkid bodess from Fin's peering eyes. _Stupid writer, _she cursed to herself.

"Hey!" Liv shouted to the unseen maestro, "Could, we do this again please?"

**Oh Thank God! Fin is soooooooo hard to write…OK next chapter coming up.**


	5. Rewrite 4

REWRITE 4

_Olivia Benson woke up, and groggily eyed the clock next to her bed. 6.03am._

"_Crap" she thought to herself, "Why can I never sleep in on my day off"_

_She started to close her eyes again, to try for a few more hours, when she suddenly became aware of a warm, naked body pressed against her back._

Olivia groaned and wondered who the hell it was this time. Ensuring her sheet was properly secured, she turned slowly to check out her latest fanfic partner.

"HUANG!" She screamed, sitting up and pulling the sheet to cover herself.

"Good morning, Olivia," he smiled, also sitting up.

"You know I'm a fan of the odd Mills and Boon now and then but this is going a bit far!" Olivia leaned her head against the wall and sighed.

"Olivia please, I read right into you and I know you're not one for a Milly Boon."

"Huang, stop _anal_ysing me. I'm not in the _how does that make you feel_ mood." Olivia sighed.

"Really, why not?"

"Hmmm… Give me a moment… Oh that's right! I've been forced through I don't know how many re-writes and to top it off – yours-truly sticks me with a tiny shrink! No pun intended."  
Huang pondered a moment, "And how do you feel about that?"  
Olivia groaned, "Shit." She searched the room, de javu taking hold, "RE-WRITE!"

Olivia looked at Huang, "Why isn't anything happening?"

"I'm not sure. Let brain storm shall we?"

"I don't want to brain storm!" Olivia spat, "I want a re-write!"

"You know, it might be worth your while staying in this story…I'm not called Huang for nothing, you know" George said with a smirk.

"Oh, God George" cried Olivia "That's too much information. TOO MUCH INFORMATION"

George sighed patiently "Liv, you need to calm down. Let's talk about this"

"I don't want to talk about it Huang" an image popped into her head "…er George. I just want out of this chapter"

"And you believe that by just asking the writer, he or she will change the story for you?"

"Well, it's worked before" Liv snapped. "God damn freak" she muttered to herself.

"Mmmmmmmmmmm. Maybe you're right. Maybe that's where the problem lies," Huang studied her quizzically.

"What? With the writer?"

"Well let's face it – The author isn't that complex."

"And have you ever considered the type of person who would write this type of thing"

"They're obviously living in a fantasy world; where a television show is their only contact and the characters are their best friends. These people are frustrated…"

**HEY! I heard… read that! George, you are gone buddy…**

"Thank God," Olivia sighed.


	6. Rewrite 5

REWRITE 5

_Olivia Benson woke up, and groggily eyed the clock next to her bed. 6.03am._

"_Crap" she thought to herself, "Why can't I ever sleep in on my day off"_

_She started to close her eyes again, to try for a few more hours, when she suddenly became aware of a warm, naked body pressed against her back._

Who's on the menu today? She wondered.

She turned.

"Hey babe," the body said.

Olivia lay there, stunned, staring into the eyes of her bedmate.

"Don't looked so surprised, you know as well as I this was meant to be, babe.

"Hey, how about some coffee, decapitated, of course" he murmured

"Cassidy," she breathed, emotion started to flood into her numb body. Anger, rage, annoyance, it all boiled inside of her as she sat up.

Brian followed suit, "What do you say? Pick things up where we left off? You're still as ravenous as ever" He touched her shoulder.

"Ew!" Olivia pushed him away.

"Liv, I understand you're upset but come o-"

"I," she laughed, "I'm not upset. I am **_PISSED OFF_**!" She stood, pulling the sheet with her, and began to pace the room. _So, author, it has come to this. I knew you weren't too fond of me but this was just childish!_

Olivia turned to look at Cassidy, alone in her bed. Again. She smiled. Momentarily forgetting he had nothing to cover his… Short comings… Olivia was rather taken aback.

"Brian!" She exclaimed, staring him down, as it were, "How did we… uh… how did we ever… do it?" she shook her head just as he opened his mouth to protest, "NO! You know what? Lets not go there! No, EW! Oh God what was I thinking! EWWWW!"

"And YOU!" she cried searching for that unseen face that was slowly ruining her life "YOU"

"What? You didn't think it was bad enough the first time around, you gotta make me go through it again"

Cassidy's face fell, his little puppy dog eyes filling with hurt, "But, Liv…"

Olivia spun around to glare at him "Shut up, Brian" she spat out.

"But, Liv……why" he whined

"WHY, you want to know WHY, you… you amoeba-brained **PLEASE INSERT APPROPRIATE INSULT FOR YOUR AMUSEMENT.**

"Number one….It's DE_CAFFINATED_ coffee not de_capitated_, number two, It's RAVI_SHING_, not rave_nous _and Number 3…number 3 you left the series 5 years ago and shouldn't even be here."

Olivia could feel herself going red in the face, and she took a few calming breaths.

She looked at Cassidy again, "Sorry, Bri….it's nothing personal, but" her eyes searched the room again "OK YOU SICK TWISTED SON OR DAUGHTER OF A BITCH, I WANT ANOTHER REWRITE. NOW"

**God, what a total bitch. Is NOTHING good enough for her. Jeez, one Golden Globe on her mantle, and she thinks she can run the show. Well, I'll show her!**

**MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA**


	7. Rewrite 6

REWRITE 6

_Olivia Benson woke up, and groggily eyed the clock next to her bed. 6.03am._

"_Crap" she thought to herself, "Why can I never sleep in on my day off"_

_She started to close her eyes again, to try for a few more hours, when she suddenly became aware of a warm, naked body pressed against her back._

Olivia was scared. She was pretty sure, judging by the maniacal laughter she had heard, that she had totally pissed off the writer after the 'Cassidy' chapter, and she was terrified.

She closed her eyes again "Perhaps if I go back to sleep, I'll wake up and be alone again."

A sudden, horrifying thought hit her, and her eyes flew open in shock "OH MY GOD! Surely not. The writer wouldn't be _that_ crazy. "

Taking a deep breath, Olivia once again secured her sheet and then put her hand over her face before turning to face her newest fan fic lover.

"Good morning, Olivia" he said

Olivia froze. She knew that voice, but she had to see for herself. She peeked between her fingers.

Sure enough, there it was, the smiling face, balding head of her Captain, Don Cragen.

'Oh, God….er…Good Morning Don" Olivia smiled weakly, as her face turned a sickly shade of green, "So, you too then"

"Oh yes" said Don rather brightly, "You can't believe how excited I was when I found out I was going to be in bed with you. I've wanted this ever since that scene in Care, when you grabbed me from behind. I just had to jump at the chance"

Olivia groaned. She wanted to cry, scream, curse and laugh all at the same time.

"So, tell me Don" she choked out in an odd sort of sob, "How did we….."

Olivia paused when she heard another sound in her room.

"What the…". She leant over and turned on the bedroom light.

Her eyes widened in shock. Just when she thought she'd seen everything, the thought came back to bite her on the ass.

Her bedroom was filled with beds and with people. All in various states of undress and all with various partners. She tightened her sheet and scrambled form the bed

"What the _FUCK _is this" she screeched "Oh." She leant down and whispered to Cragen, "Can I say the F word?"

Cragen smiled "Sure, this fic is gonna get a PG 13 rating, so it's fine"

"Phew" said Olivia "Now where was I? Oh, yeah…"

"What the _FUCK _is this," she screeched again " an orgy!"

Don chuckled softly shaking his head. He was lying there, uncovered, shameless and revealing to the world that what Captain Cragen lacked in hair, he made up for in other areas.

Olivia tried to avoid the view.

"No, Liv. This is just a scene where the writer has tried to put in all the different couples together.

Olivia scrambled from the bed and surveyed the room.

Munch and Fin lay cuddled together on the bed closest to her "Ewwwwwwww" she thought to herself, and then did a double-take when she saw Alex Cabot and _KATHY STABLER_ sleeping in each others arms on another.

"Surely you can't be serious. Fin and _MUNCH_! Alex and _KATHY_!"

Don chuckled again, the bedroom light making his bald head gleam brightly in the room. "Sure, Fin and John are a popular choice amongst the fan fics fans, and as for Alex and Kathy, well, I don't think the writer likes Casey an awful lot, so she had to throw in someone with her"

"Well what about El…." Olivia stopped short when she heard a noise coming from her wardrobe.

She spun around, just in time to see her partner Elliott and George Huang come out of the closet, holding hands.

Olivia had had enough. "You made Elliott _GAY_!. MY ELLIOTT _GAY_! All right, that's it. I have _had _it. Enough is enough, everybody out!" she screamed.

"Hey Liv" Elliott smiled at her, "Calm down"

"I will NOT calm down, Elliott. This is ridiculous. I WANT EVERYTHING REWRITTEN NOW!" Olivia stamped her foot.

"Hey, Olivia," George piped up, "You know you can always take control of your own life. If you don't like the way things are turning out, don't leave it to others. Do it yourself"

"Right, I will" she muttered to herself.

Clutching her sheet, Olivia stormed to the bedside table and grabbed her gun. She stomped out of her bedroom. There in her living room were two women, one just a teenager and the other, a woman about her own age.  
The older of the 2 was seated at the computer, painstakingly typing with her two index fingers, while the younger paced the room, shouting suggestions for the story.

"Two of you? Well that figures," she snorted.

The two women looked up guiltily

"Oooh" the older one said rising from the table and going to stand near her friend.

"She looks a little pissed"

"Yeah, and she's got her gun" said the younger one, paling a little.

"Well, what do we do" squeaked the elder "Quick, what do we do"

The younger one saw the look in Olivia's eyes and knew "DELETE" she yelled "DELETE, DELETE, DELETE"

The oldest made a move for the computer, "Where is it, where is it?" she asked in a panicked tone, her index fingers poised in readiness.

"Jeez", replied the younger, "Just press any key, for crying out loud"

Her friend turned to her "If I can't find the flamin' delete key, what makes you think I can find the flamin' ANY key"

The younger woman gave a heavy sigh and made a move towards the computer.

"Freeze" yelled Olivia.

They did, save for a small movement on the older woman's part, who moved slightly backwards and put a comforting arm around her friend

"We are in deep, deep do do" the youngest said.

"Don't worry, we are in this together, we'll be fine"

Olivia glared at the women. "Right, who's idea was this piece of crap"

The older woman dropped her arm and stepped away "Oh it was her's of course" pointing the finger.

The younger woman spun around and glared at her "_WHAT_. YOU LIAR!. This was _your _idea. And what happened to the 'We're in this together' crap"

The older woman looked at her friend "Ah DUH, she has a _GUNNNNN_"

The teenager turned to Olivia, "Honest, it was her idea…_HERS_. I'm just helping out."  
"Right, then" said Liv, pointing the gun in the older woman's direction.

She quivered and whined "But she was the one who wrote you in bed with Cassidy" pointing at her soon to be ex friend

Olivia aimed the gun at the other woman "_WHAT_ were you thinking, you psycho"

The young woman pouted, "But _SHE _was the one that made Elliott gay" said responded in a smug tone.

"B..b..but, it wasn't _ MY _idea. I got it off the fanfic website."

Olivia glared again, "Oh, so not only are you a bad writer, you're also a plagiarist"

The woman's mouth opened, but before she could say anything, Liv cocked her gun "I have had enough" She fired, "THAT'S for making Elliott gay"

The woman dropped dead, and fell in a heap. Liv then turned her gun to the now weeping younger woman, and fired again "And THAT is for Cassidy"

Olivia stepped up to the computer desk, and dragged the two bodies out of the way, sat down in front of the computer, and pressed delete.

"Right" she said "Let's get this party started"


	8. Rewrite 7

REWRITE 7

Olivia Benson woke up with as sense of excitement in her veins. She could feel the warm male body pressed against her back.

"Now this is more like it" she thought to herself.

She turned eagerly to her bedmate'

"Good morning handsome" she whispered huskily, as she stared into the brown eyes of George Clooney."

"Olivia" George cried in shock, "What am I doing here?'

"Well, George, I'm writing myself a fan fic, and I decided I should have some fun while I'm at it. And I've gotta admit to having a little crush ever since we were both in ER"

George smiled "Oh that would explain these then" he said, tugging on the stethoscope draped around his bare shoulders"

Olivia blushed shyly, "Yeah, sorry, just a little fantasy of mine"

"Oh no, it's fine" George said, "So, what do I do"

"Well, George, all you have to do is make love to me for the next few pages"

"Well, I think I could handle that" George said reaching for her.

"Yeah, just one thing though George" Olivia explained, "This is only a PG 13, so we can't be too graphic about it, and, well, I really don't know if I can write a sex scene"

"Well, what will we do about it" he asked.

Olivia pondered for a moment, "Well, what if I just write …George took the stunning brunette in his arms, and kissed her passionately, his hunger escalating. He slowly began caressing her as her lowered her to the bed. Her last coherent thought was 'Oh George…' and then we fade out. Like a Barbara Cartland novel, y'know, dot, dot, dot"

"Dot, dot, dot?" George asked, confused.

"Yeah, Barbara Cartland never wrote sex scenes but you always knew they were doing it 'cos of the …, she'd just put her hero and heroine together in a clinch have them kiss and end the scene with …"

George considered the idea and nodded his head…"Sounds OK to me"

"All righty then" said a smiling Liv "Let's do it"

George took the stunning brunette in his arms...

**Damn George Clooney and his dicky back, only lasting the one page. I'll just have to get someone else**


	9. Rewrite 8

REWRITE 8

Olivia Benson woke up with as sense of excitement in her veins. She could feel the warm male body pressed against her back.

"Now this is more like it" she thought to herself.

She turned eagerly to her bedmate'

"Hi Brad" she purred.

Brad Pitt looked a little confused, but also a little delighted at being in bed with a beautiful woman. "Hey, gorgeous" he whispered, "This is a pleasant surprise. What's this about?"

Olivia smiled, "Aw, Brad, don't ask questions…all you have to do is make mad passionate love to me for at least 2 pages. Think you can handle it."

Brad shrugged, "Sure, when do we start?"

Olivia smiled and lunged for him, "Right about now"…

**Goddamn Brad Pitt and his "That's not the way Jennifer did it, or Jen used to do it this way". Well, he can go rot….I'll keep looking. **Her gaze fell on the Firemen of New York calendar that was 3 years old and permanently stuck on Mr. April. He was dressed in yellow slicker cover-alls, the top half hung down below his waist, revealing his muscular chest. One hand rested on his hip, his thumb tucked in the waistband of the cover-alls while his other arm rested lightly against the Fire Engine, his muscles rippling.

**Grrrooooooooowwwwwwwwwwlllllll, he'll do**


	10. Rewrite 9

REWRITE 10

Olivia Benson woke up with as sense of excitement in her veins. She could feel the warm male body pressed against her back.

"Now this is more like it" she thought to herself.

She turned eagerly to her bedmate'

"Helllllllllllllllllo, Mr. April," Olivia growled at him in a sultry tone.

Mr. April stared at her, "What am I doing here?" he asked

"Oh, honey, you're here to make my dreams come true"

She pounced on him, ripping off the covers at the same time.

She stopped short when she realized he still had his coveralls on.

"Oh," she said, "Well, those will have to go"

Mr. April, who was a fan of the show, was rather eager to comply. "Sure," he said.

He tried to grab at the waistband of his suit, only to find it wouldn't move.

"Ya havin' a little trouble there" smirked Liv, "Here, let me help"

Olivia moved over to give him a hand. She couldn't move it either.

"What's wrong with it" she asked.

"Jeez, Olivia, it's just like I'm in the calendar. I'm a goddamn 3-D cardboard cutout."

"Arrrrrrrrggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

**God, this is so much harder than I thought. Oh well, next chapter awaits.**


	11. Endings

REWRITE 11

Olivia Benson woke up with a sense of excitement in her veins. She could feel….nothing. She sat up quickly and looked at the empty space next to her in the bed.

"That's funny " she thought, "What happened to Jonny Depp? I do enjoy those dreads, his sword, OH his sword!"

Suddenly, the door to the bedroom burst opened and she looked up in shock.

There framed in the doorway were the 2 women she had killed several chapters ago.

"You two?" she shouted in shock, "B..b..but your dead!"

"Hah," laughed the younger one, "Think again Sunshine. We are _BACK_"

"That's impossible" snorted Liv, "you were both dead"

"Ah yes" crowed the teenager, "But you, Miss Detective of the Year, _FORGOT TO SAVE_. Therefore, you lost _EVERYTHING_ that happened from just before you came out of the bedroom and shot us. _SO THERE_"

"Yeah, _SO THERE_" echoed the other, "And _that_, Miss-I'm-so-picky-Benson, means that _you_ are in BIG trouble"

"Oh, right" snarled Liv, "What are you gonna do to me this time…..marry me off to Cragen, put me in bed with the Medical Examiner. There is _NOTHING_, you hear me, _NOTHING _that you could do to me now that is worse than what you've already done"

"Oh yeah" laughed the teenager evilly. She looked at Liv. "Why don't you check your closet, Oh Fussy One"

Liv heard the other woman snicker.

"Why, is there a dead body in there" Liv asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Just check it" the older woman said, "And Oh my God, I cannot wait to see your face"

Olivia climbed out of bed, and suddenly noticed she wore bright green pyjamas. She had a brief thought of "That's odd" and then approached the closet with trepidation

She stood before it, her hand on the door knob. She braced herself, then flung the door open and looked inside.

"Oh my God' she whispered in horror. It was worse than she ever could have imagined. There in her closet hung the green coat, the striped jacket, the knee-length boots, the batman costume, the My Little Pony outfit!

"Oh my God" she repeated, "NOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. You evil, EVIL women. How could you do this. How could you give me……Novak's clothes" Liv burst into tears and the women began laughing uproariously.

"That'll teach you to kill us"

"Yeah, that'll teach you"

They threw their arms around each other and turned to leave the room, still chuckling.

Suddenly, their path was blocked by a smiling Elliott Stabler.

"Hey, ladies" he said smugly.

"How did you get in this chapter Elliott" asked the older woman, "We didn't write you in"

Elliott's blue eyes twinkled and he smiled broadly, "No, no you didn't, but I did"

Olivia had stopped her blubbering, and glanced up at Elliott, a faint sense of hope enveloping her.

"That's impossible" retorted the younger woman, "Just impossible"

Elliott leaned against the doorway and crossed his arms. "No it's not, because here I am." "you see," El explained "I hacked into your computer and changed the storyline. Any second now, the room will be full of cops, and they're gonna arrest you and put you in handcuffs for the rest of your lives and neither of you will be allowed near a computer again"

Before he had finished speaking, the room was indeed filled with cops, and the 2 women were dragged off in cuffs.

Olivia leapt up and embraced Elliott, kissing him all over his face in gratitude, "Oh Thank you El, Thank You soooooo very much for saving me from a fate worse than death"

El hugged her back, "Olivia" he said softly, "I couldn't let them do _THAT_ to you. I mean, Novak's clothes. They are the worst crime in the whole of FVU."

"FVU?" Liv asked.

"Yeah. Fashion Victims Unit."  
"Ohhh that explains it." She chuckled softly and gazed up at her hero, "So what happens now," she asked softly, noticing that Elliott had not yet let her go.

"Well, I made a few changes in other storylines too." El admitted

Liv gazed into his beautiful blue eyes, "Like what?" she asked. She suddenly became aware that Elliott was caressing her back.

"Well, for starters, I changed my marital status"

"So you and Kathy are divorced?" queried Liv.

"No,' El replied, there never was a Kathy. "In _my _story, I have no wife, no kids, and you are crazy about me"

"I am!" yelped Liv. She looked up at Elliott, still in his arms, realization hitting her.

She smiled broadly, "Oh yeah, I _am_"

They kissed passionately and Elliott pushed her towards the bed.

"So, how long does this chapter go for," Liv asked when she was finally able to take a breath.

Elliott stared into hers eyes, "Forever, Liv, it goes on forever"

End.

A/N: FiremanSam'saHottie co-wrote this, so BIG hugs to her, applause applause.


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